Parenting or child rearing is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, financial, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the aspects of raising a child aside from the biological relationship. There is a huge difference in good parenting and bad parenting and it directly affects the child’s growth. So this article dwells upon the parent the things they should learn and the things they should make their children make to learn.
Social class, wealth, culture and income have a very strong impact on what methods of child rearing are used by parents. Cultural values play a major role in how parents raises their child. However, parenting is always evolving and coninuous; as times change, cultural practices and social norms and traditions change.
With this new age that is constantly evolving and exploring new avenues, with technology having become a vital part of our existence and with the abundance of information available at the disposal of a child and a parent, a lot of modern day parenting issues are arising at an alarming rate.
An increasing number of schools are reporting more and more children with some sort of unrest or different attitudes, who seem to be unable to meet the basic demands of sitting, paying attention, and controlling themselves. With the increasing number of children placed in special education programs, the cause of this is crucial to be identified, especially keeping in mind these issues rising at an alarming rate.
Modern day Child Psychology:
These days it is noticed more often that children tend to feel distressed, uneasy, even frightened for no apparent reason, which directs to signs of child anxiety. Some common anxiety disorders are panic disorders characterised by episodes of intense fear that occur without warning or provocation.
During a child’s developmental years, they are constantly growing and changing. It is imperative to keep in mind the emotional and behavioural changes in children.
- Antisocial Behaviour
When a child demonstrates antisocial behaviour, they are oblivious of the consequences of their actions. According to the US’s Department of Education, severe forms of antisocial behaviour can lead to drug and alcohol abuse, poor health, mental health problems, unemployment and adult crime.
Inconsistent and harsh parenting, as well as parental drug abuse, maternal depression and domestic violence, are some of the parenting reasons which cause these behavioural changes in a child.
- Poor Resilience
There is an alarming increase in today’s children’s find it difficult to cope with social, emotional, behavioural, physical and educational hardships. When a child has poor resilience, this can stem from a parent’s inflexibility, inability to handle change well or failure to cope with negative emotions in a healthy manner.
According to a recent study parents with poor resilience are more likely to have children who also lack resilience. Bad parenting in this regard comes in the form of failing to shield the adverse effects of a crisis that child experiences, not teaching a child coping skills and not being responsive during a time of need.
Parental negativity is linked to child depression and the internalisation of behaviours. In recent psychological studies, it has been found that harsh and negative parenting behaviours are correlated with symptoms of depression in children.
Other factors that may contribute to childhood depression include low levels of overall support, parental depression, physical punishment, unhealthy expression of negative emotions and a lack of emotional support.
Modern day researchers have found that explosive or aggressive children have poor relationships with their mothers from an early age. Bad parenting during infancy contributes to childhood aggression.
When children are handled “roughly,” expressed negative feelings towards them and have suffered through escalating conflicts they develop an aggressive behaviour towards the fellow children. Negative parenting causes the children to demonstrate “higher levels of anger,” which in turn makes the mothers more hostile. This, however, also has a lot to do with the relationship between the mother and the father, and how that might have influences the mother’s feelings or behaviour.
Signs of Bad Parenting:
In the modern day parenting, the parents are so busy with their hectic lifestyles, bargaining between the work lives balances and making desperate attempts to create time for their children that they fall prey to the guilt of being unavailable for the children. the In order to get rid of this guilt, they indulge in techniques which are in fact modern day bad parenting signs:
1Lack of Discipline
Discipline is the mandate for training and guiding children towards good behaviour. It becomes the parent’s responsibility to educate the children between good and bad, right and wrong.
With the lack of these disciplinary values inculcated in a child at a young age, it becomes difficult to deal with the repercussions at a later age in the child’s growing years.
2Pampering is surely a sign of bad parenting
The modern day parent is overly affectionate towards their children, especially owing to the lack of ample amount of time that they are able to spend with their child. However, showing excessive concern and love to a child gives them the confirmation of their importance and also a way to neglect any instructions from their parents without any remorse.
Pampering indeed is one of the vital modern day bad parenting signs which lead to the children becoming stubborn, indisciplined, irresponsible, arrogant and irate.
3Avoiding and Neglecting Child
Neglecting or ignoring a child can hamper their physical and mental development. It is important for the parents to be available to the varied growing physical and emotional needs of a child!
Parents should form a relationship with the child where the children feel free to come and talk to them about any and all of the problems they face during their growing years. Be friendly and a friend.
4Physical and Vocal Abuse
Physical abuse is the worst form of parenting. It not only imbues an emotional and psychological fear in the mind of the child, but it also causes them to become violent in their inherent nature.
As much as even vocal abuse can affect their brains harshly and they will pick up these traits from their parents.
It has been seen that parents often have their liking towards one of the children, especially towards the younger ones. Partiality brings heavy emotional damage which is irreparable at a later stage.This psychological and behavioral trait of the parents causes deep seeded emotional effects on the children’s brain, especially the one who is being neglected as a result of the favoritism.
It is advised that the parents should not force their opinions and choices on the children. This behaviour is mostly seen in parents who have unresolved issues and unachieved dreams which they seem to want to fulfil in their children.
The parents should rather gather the approach of listing out the pros and the cons of the decisions and encourage the child to take their own decisions giving them the faith and support they need.
7No value of Money
This is the most common traits seen in today’s parents. In the pursuit of providing their child with the amenities and facilities that they did not get in their own childhood, parents today over indulge and hence drive their children do not learn the value of money. As psychologist Dr. Cairns claims, the children suffer at their homes by not learning to the exact need and requirement due to ” Problem of Plenty”.
Ways to Improve the Parent-Child Relationship:
Type it Out
Communication is a powerful tool, especially when you want to build a solid and strong relationship. Even if your child is still very young, you can communicate and get ideas across that improve your ability to provide a safe and understanding home environment. If you are a good listener then practice it with your younger ones which may certainly make them richer in thoughts and cleaner in acts.
The parents need to keep lines of communication open as an important part of correcting your children when they make mistakes or forget commitments. At a young age, the child needs to be communicated that they are loved and cuddle with them as often as you can.
With the growing up of the children, it gets easier to communicate by sending an email or text message. But talking to them in person is the best method of good parenting.
Be a Friend
It is suggested to the modern day parents to show an interest in their children’s activities, ideas and statements. Encourage the children to tell them what they want to do and get involved directly by planning family activities that are centred on the children’s interests.
Involving with the children by taking the time to go to local events, live plays or even watch the child’s favourite TV show together. Spend at least one day together as a family or set aside an hour every day to talk, enjoy activities together or simply watch a movie on TV. That exposure to fun as a family can go a long way to making your child feel safe and accepted.
Provide Positive Feedback
Although it is important to correct your children, you do not want to develop a relationship that is built on power and control. Instead, focus on your child’s accomplishments and improvements. Positive feedback teaches your child good behavior and will reduce the number of misbehaviours. Save correction for situations that are dangerous for your child or broken household rules. In nutshell, don’t become a priest, teacher, instructor at home but behave like a friend and see the good results for a whole lifetime.
Every child is special in their own way and hence they demand and need their own kind of attention and care. Love, however, is one unbounded requirement for a child’s well growth. Understanding your child’s psyche and adjusting your parenting techniques to these requirements with the help of the tips and tricks mentioned above will help develop a healthy relationship with a child for a lifetime.